Tale of A Bard.











Okay, exactly where am I supposed to start?

I suppose many people would say that the beginning is as good a place as any 
but then again, there are as many beginnings as there are endings in my story.
Most of my beginnings are endings.  The beginning of my life as a wandering 
bard was the end of my life as the third son of Baron Marque Calaudra, the end
of my very short marriage to Quinta was the beginning of my life of running, 
as I realised responsibility really didn't suit me.  Okay, let's try and 
start at the beginning, shall we?

First and final warning, none of these stories are in chronologial order.  Deal
with it.





Tale of a bard.




The First story.

Love Lust and all my Sister's Women.



Yes, trust me, the title will make sense in just a short while.
      One of the most important events that precipitated my leaving the family
was my sister Mirei's public revelation that she was attracted to women.  She'd 
been involved with one of her Ladies-in-waiting, a pretty young woman named Lyre.  
This revelation didn't really bother me, as Mirei had told me long before, it did 
fluster my mother slightly but my father was furious.  His own bigotry and 
prejudice blinded him to his own daughters suffering.
      The day after Mirei revealed herself publicly my father expelled Lyre from
 court and banished her from our province.  He ordered Mirei never to see her 
again on pain of death, for both of them (charming, my father).  Mirei was 
distraught, unfortunately she has more of my traits than our mother's, subtlety 
is not a Calaudra strong point, not when we are angry anyway.
      Mirei started to flaunt her preferences openly, flirting with the women 
at court, kissing her newest lovers in front of the more conservative members 
of the court.  This started her on a string of emotionally sterile and meaningless 
seductions and love affairs that were very damaging to my sister's well-being and 
my father's temper.
      Father attempted all sorts of "reform measures", he sent Mirei to monasteries
 and temples, he locked her away from any sort of Elven contact, his final and 
stupidest idea was to marry her off.  
      When Mirei was told she worked herself into the most passionate rage I have 
ever seen she just about screamed the entire house down, I am positive that they 
could hear her from Ice-Wind Dale to Baldur's gate she was that loud.  Father had 
promised her to the young son of another minor noble, oh-so like ourselves.  His 
name was Randall, and quite frankly, he was a drip.  He was always ill, he was 
unable to ride a horse or lift a sword, he was pathetic.  
      When my sister had first laid eyes on this boy she had disliked him, her 
feelings had only strengthened over time.  She refused to even look at him.  
Randall and his father whose name I cannot even be bothered to recall came to 
pick up Mirei just before her fortieth summer.  Randall was coughing and 
spluttering and sneezing all over the place.  My sister meanwhile locked herself 
in one of the servants rooms and refused to see anyone, even myself.
      Finally she came out after a month of hiding, it was a shock.  My once 
rich and vibrant sister had wasted away until she was a gaunt shadow of herself.  
Her long rich golden-brown hair was matted in clumps about her head, her clothes 
hung of her skeleton frame, she could barely stand all because of my stupid father's 
bigotry.
      As soon as I knew Mirei had been seen too I stormed down to my fathers library,
once a safe-haven for me in my younger days now the site of many confrontations, 
I remember every single word we spoke that day.  It was the last time I spoke to any 
member of my family.
      As I walked in my father lifted his Balding head and looked at me with his one 
good eye, his other clouded eye looked over my right shoulder, "So your sister has 
come to her senses?" he asked.
    I wanted to kill him "No, father, she has had perfect sense throughout this whole 
ordeal." I pointed out trying desperately to remain calm.
      "She has done no such thing."
      "You cannot blame Mirei for something that she has no control over," I was still
trying to be reasonable.
      "I most certainly can, she has as much control over this as every other aspect 
of her life."
       "Did you choose to be attracted to mother?" I asked bitterly.
       "Not, but that was not some childish phase," my Father brushed the question 
aside "I thought with that whore of a maid-servant gone your sister might recover her 
senses."
      "LYRE IS NO WHORE YOU EREVAN FORSAKEN SON OF A WHORE!!"  I lost control of 
myself, not for the last time, I could not bare to hear my father insulting Lyre who 
had been so sweet to my sister.
      "Do not yell at me Nicodaemus, I am still the ruler of this family."
      "Tyrant."
      "Quiet yourself this instant or I shall disinherit you."
      "Please do Marque, you are so cruel and heartless that I find it nigh on 
impossible to believe that you are even related to myself and Mirei, let alone that 
you are our father."
      He stood slowly I remember clearly, he walked around the desk to stand toe-to-
toe with me and looked my in the face with his still good eye and said in a gravelly 
voice. 
      "And I find it equally difficult to believe that such dysfunctional infantiles 
could have sprung from my lions.  Perhaps you are not mine."  He offered knowing it 
would infuriate me.
      "So now you are accusing mother of infidelity?"  I clenched my fists so tightly 
I still have the scars on them to this day.
      "I never said a word, now go and fetch your sister."
      I slammed my fist down on his desk and shouted in his face "SHE IS NOT JUST MY 
SISTER, SHE IS YOUR DAUGHTER ASWELL!"
      "I believe I've made my opinion on that subject clear."
      I never fetched Mirei, I sprinted to my suite and packed whatever I could carry, 
I crammed what little jewellery and coins I had in my rooms and stormed out of the 
Family's Manor house.
      I was fifty-four, I am now one hundred and thirty one, I have not been back 
there in three score and seventeen years.
      Mirei and I still keep in touch, she never married Randall, in fact she ran 
away a week after I did, as far as I know she and Lyre are living quite happily in 
a small human town several miles from the furthest Elven border.

   
   
The Beginning



The Second Story

Responsibility and Wandering.

A wandering life,
With a woman to wife,
Will only cause you pain,
Because not matter how long you stay,
You will always wander away, again.

          		--Nicodaemus Calaudra


I first met Quinta twelve years ago on a disused trail I was following for no reason 
at all, I was 119.  She was a wild elf with short wild and curly hair and a perpetual 
scowl, at the time she was 117.  She was struggling with a large sack which I later 
discovered was flour (after it burst on me).
  It looked ridiculously heavy so I did the polite thing and turned to walk away.  
    Unfortunately she'd seen me, and surprise, she thought I should have helped her, 
she somehow managed to lift the sack over her head and hurl it at me.  I didn't know 
what had happened until I tried to speak and all that came out of my mouth was flour.  
She found this exceedingly amusing and her mirth only irritated me more.  Standing up 
I brushed myself off and again turned to walk away.
    "Such a gentleman," she called sarcastically after me.
    I could hardly let an insult like that slide, I turned back (foolish, I know) and 
copped a rock in the face.  I was a little less than amused at this turn of events.
    I could feel my nose bleeding and hear her laughing so I gathered up the few 
remaining shreds of my dignity and turned to leave.  I walked for several minutes 
until I became aware of the fact that someone was following me.  I ignored it for as 
long as I could, which turned out to be just long enough for her tribe to catch up 
with me and take me into custody for trespassing.
    I was pinned to the ground by two large male wild elves who, by their stench had
dubious personal hygeine, and then trussed up (None too gently I might add) like a
pig ready for the spit.  They were kind enough to tie me to a pole and carry me to 
their camp.  I was cut loose from my bonds and thrown into a tent and told I was to
await my trial.
    After the camp had gone to sleep, except for the two guards at my door, the 
femalewild elf, whose name I was to shortly discover was Quinta and who I would know 
as Quinn in times to come, paid me a visit.
    "How do you like your accomodation Master--?" I saw no point in being obstinant 
so I answered.
    "Calaudra, Nicodaemus Calaudra, And I could use a desk and I'd like my belongings 
back, thankyou."
    "Well, I'm afraid you can't have them Master Calaudra," she told me strutting up 
and down the tent like a peacock displaying it's feathers.
    "Why?  What damage am I going to do to Troll-features and Goblin-breath out there
with quills and ink?  Write them to death?"  I'm afraid I was a little less than 
civil, but I'd had a long day after all.
    "You're a Bard, we can tell from the way you talk so much and the things you own."
    "Really?  My you wild elves really did earn your reputation for 
intelligence didn't you?"
    "Tell me Master Calaudra, Do you think I'm pretty."
    "I don't know," suddenly I felt like being difficult "I can't tell."
    She moved into a patch of moonlight "Is that better?"
    "No, I'm blind, I can't see you." I wasn't.
    "Really?  Have you been blind all your life?"
    "No, only since you so kindly threw a rock at my face."
    "Then how come you've been watching me?"  She thought she had me cornered.
    "I can hear you, you're not exactly silent."
    "I'll fetch a Cleric."
    "Thankyou milady."
    It wasn't a long wait until she returned with a another wild elf, this one 
looked rather cranky.  Probably a by product of being dragged out of a pleasent 
reverie by Quinn at this ridiculous hour of the night.  The Cleric chased Quinn out of 
the hut I was 'locked' in and looked into my eyes.
    "I'm fine," I liked this cranky old elf, so I was honest, a rarity, believe me "I 
just wanted that one," I pointed to Quinn outside the tent "To leave me alone."
    The cleric gave me look that could wilt oak trees and stormed out, seconds later
Quinn re-entered.  "Miquaele says your eyesight should be better by morning.  I'm 
Quinn by the way."
    "I'll remember that, Quinn."  I don't know, unless I'm talking naturally to 
someone I tend to use nick-names, this one did not however, provoke the desired 
response.
    "Quinn," she sounded thoughtful and for a moment I thought she was going to slap 
methen she turned to me and smiled.  "I like that, Nicci."  She then turned on 
herhell and stalked out  of the tent.
    I spent the rest of the night fuming.





    I was held for several months, Quinn and Miquaele visited occasionally.  Usually
apart, Miquaele brought me quills, ink and paper and Quinn was nearly my constant
companion.
    Finally the day of my trial arrived I was dragged, quite literally into the 
presenceof the tribes chieftain.  A huge elf with a flamberge strapped to his back, 
his long hairwas braided and his eyes were two different colours one green and one 
brown.
    The chieftain looked me up and down, I wished the ground would open and swallow me
whole.  He said nothing for a long while, then in a thunderous booming voice he spoke.
    "You Nicodaemus Calaudra, have been tried and found guilty of tresspassing upon 
landsclaimed by the tribe en Elquan.  Do you have anything to say in your defence?"
    "Yes," I somehow managed to keep my voice steady and I was thanking Erevan 
Ilesere for the gifts he gave to me in lying.  "I apologise to you and your people 
Cheif Elquan.  I was unaware that these lands belonged to you and your people, but I 
meant no harm."
    "No harm?"  His booming voice was incredulous "You tried  to accost my daughter."
    I wanted to vanish "Pardon my Lord?  I'm afraid I'm totally ignorant of what you 
mean."
    At this point Quinn stepped forward and said demurely "I lied father, he didn't."
    I'd become very fond of Quinn over my months in detention and this blow stung.
    "Nic never tried anything, not to hurt me or to touch me.  Even after I told you 
my story and he was arrested, he's only ever been a gentleman."  She turned to me at 
this point looking hopefully at me.
    My expression however, was steely, I felt betrayed.  We'd become friends, we were 
perhaps on the road to something more.  I simply stood their while she and Miquaele 
sangmy praises.  Eventually I was acquitted of the assault but I was still found 
guilty of tresspassing.  
    So I was marched back to the tent and thrown back inside.
    Several days passed and I was fed, watered and left alone.  I was very grateful 
for the isolation, it gave me time to feul my anger.  Miquaele visited me later in 
the tenday, but left quickly when I turned my anger on him.
    When I apologised and began to control my anger Miquaele and I would sit together 
andtalk for long nights, Quinn didn't visit, for which I was eternally grateful.
    Usually the change from Autumn to Winter is easy and gradual in the Forests of 
Cormanthor, not this year.  This year Winter didn't even creep up on us, it ran up to 
us said 'Hi, I'm Winter' and beat us around the head with an icicle.
    I was still dressed for early Autumn, and in the foul temper I was in I refused 
and warmer clothes.  I know, stupid but when I'm angry, I'm stubborn and when I'm 
stubborn I'm stupid.  
    It wasn't long before I was ill, very ill.  My body temperature went up and down
intermittently.  I was vomitting and passing out on frequent occasions.  When it was
particulary bad I'd get delirious, I tried to leave the tent on several occasions 
claiming I was Erevan incarnate come to judge.  Miquaele did his best to treat me, 
but in my delusional state I needed almost constant attention and other members of 
the clan were ill as well.  No-one could or wanted to spare the time for an outsider, 
except Quinn.
    The day she walked into the tent I was sitting on the floor minus my shirt, 
sweating, trying desprately to remain concious while I tried to stop the small 
handful of snow I'd managed to grab before the guards had shoved me into the tent 
from melting.  Somehow in my delirium I'd managed to turn it orange.  
    She walked into the tent with a bundle of clothes, pillows and blankets under her 
arm. She ignored me totally ignored me and began to make up the small pallet in the 
corner that I'd been using for reverie.  When she'd finished setting the pallet up 
she came over to me.
    "Nicci, go and lie down please. I'll be back in a moment."
    I wanted to yell at her, tell her I hated her and wouldn't  do a thing  she said, 
but I was parched and my mouth wouldn't obey my commands.
    Quinn took both my hands in hers, led me to the pallet and had me lie down.  She
covered me in blankets and propped me up with pillows and left.
    She returned shortly with a pot of a rich smelling broth, grouse I think.
    Quinn lay down on the pallet beside me propped up on pillows.  She lifted my head 
gently and placed it gently and placed it against her breast, she gave me a grim look
and informed me that if I took adavantage if this I'd be dead.  She then ladled out a 
bowl of the broth and began to feed me.
    When we'd bath eaten we were strangely comfortable, I with my head against her 
breast, she with her cheek resting on top of my head.  All my animosity disapated
in that instant.  I slipped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me.
    "Quinn?"  I could barely manage a whisper.
    "Yes Nic?"
    "Stay here?"
    "Of course."
    She nursed me back to health over the next few  weeks.  The mix of her constant
attention and Miquaele's spells and herbal knowledge had me well again in no time 
flat.  
    To top off my good fortune I was allowed my belongings back and I was 
allowedto roam freely.  I even accompanied Quinn into the forest on several occasions.
    Then three Tendays before I was to be allowed to leave Quinn and I took a walk 
into the forest.  We walked in silence until we were a long way from the camp.  Then 
Quinn turned to me, she had tears in her bright green eyes.
    "Nic, I don't want things to change."
    "What do you mean?"  I was honestly confused.
    "If you leave.  We won't be able to sit together or go for walks like this.  I 
don't want that."
    Searching my feelings I realised that I wanted to stay.  "Then I'll stay."  I 
said itsoftly, not wanting to admit it to myself, let alone to Quinn, but the light 
in her eyes when I said it was more than worth it.
    "Thankyou Nic!"  She leapt at me and planted her lips on mine.
    I was totally shocked, not that I hadn't been kissed by women before, but I 
hadn't expected it from Quinn.  When I got over my shock a short while later I 
wrapped my arms around her waist and returned the kiss.
    I could get graphic at this point, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out 
what happened next.
Interlude 1: Nic and Quinn



    Less than a month later Quinn and I were married, I didn't want anything lavish.
You mightn't guess it to look at it but I like to keep my private life just that,
private.  Unfortunately, Quinn, being the daughter of the cheiftain was expected to
invite the entire clan.
    So we invited the entire clan, Quinn got all dressed up and so did I.  Then we
didn't turn up, we met at the outskits of the camp where Miquaele performed the 
ceremony for us.  Then we took off, we spent our honeymoon travelling around the
forests of Cormanthor.
    Those three weeks were the best of my life.  Quinn and I returned to the camp
a short while later.  The first person to greet us was Quinn's father.  Contrary 
to our expectations he didn't berate us for taking off.  Apparently Miquaele had 
told everyone about our secret ceremony and out take off and most of the clan, the
women, thought it was romantic.
    Life was easy and pleasant, Quinn and I would walk and talk for most of the day,
hunting and working when it was nessecary.  Then we'd spend the nights wrapped in 
each other's arms, unless one of us had more pressing matters to attend to.  
    Quinn's father was pleased to discover I wasn't completely inept when it came 
to business, and thrilled to discover I was 'learned'.  He insisted I start a school,
this was a bad idea on his part, I have no problem with teaching, it's just children
I can't stand.  This was a point of strain for Quinn and I, I started teaching the 
clan's children to please her but I was almost constantly bad-tempered as a result.
    It didn't help that Quinn and her family wanted children and in all honesty, I
was not, am not, and likely never will be ready for that sort of responsibility.  I
still was very much in love with Quinn though, so the petty arguements meant nothing
and we weathered out ill-humours very well.  But two ill-humoured people can only 
live together for so long before they argue constantly, and slowly our relationship
deteriorated.
    So I went wandering off for two tendays, when I got back we were very much in 
love again, it seemed the old adage 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' was true
in our case, for now.
    Despite our intermittent arguements, it rarely got so bad that I had to leave.
We tried not to let too many arguements fester but the issue of children was not 
so easily resolved, elves don't concieve easily even when they want children and 
Quinn and I were not sharing our bed as often as we used to so the chance of 
children was becoming increasingly slim.
    Slowly, Quinn and I simply stopped talking, I left more frequently and for 
longer periods.  
    After one particularly long absence, three and a half months I think, I walked 
into camp.  Miquaele greeted me and tried to get me to sit down and talk with him.
It was now common knowledge to everyone in the camp that Quinn and I no longer 
lay with each other.  Not that either of us knew it at the time, we would smile
for everyone and pretend everything was fine.
    That morning Miquaele was trying to do me a favour I realised as soon as I 
dismissed his concern and walked into the tent Quinn and I shared.  I suppose
I knew it would come to this but it didn't lessen the sting of betrayal.  The
first thing I saw was Quinn abed with another member of the tribe, a burly wild
elf with a dull face and degenerate speech patterns.
    I was stung, I didn't do anything stupid though, I simply swung my bag onto
my back and walked back out of the tent.  As I made my way through the tents and 
out of the clearing into the trees, Quinn's friend Kirathae followed me.  We she 
caught me up I was sitting on a log throwing pebbles into a stream, I'd always
liked Kirathae, she reminded me of Mirei.



Part 2